Banana jokes about printing

If fortune tellers and magicians worked in the printing press, then the advertisement would look like this:

• Mantras against damaged circulation.
• Herbs for improving circulation.
• CYMK color damage removal (300-350% guarantee).
• Divination with Pantone color cards.
• Returning creative inspiration to the photographer.
• Astral transition from RGB to CYMK.
• Resurrection with hue/saturation.
• Remote reading of the client’s mind (triple rate).
• Materialization of the work assignment (triple price if there is no assignment).
• Adjustment of layout with NLP, hypnosis and other methods.
• Extension of deadlines with dzen.
• Conjuring of client files.
• Takiing out bananas from customers’ ears.
• Summoning the customer’s corporate spirit to accept the samples.

Admit it, looks tempting? Here’s more:

• Prediction of the amount of losses after the check print.
• Clearing finished printing forms from the karma of a sleepy employee.
• Making corrections in a printed edition.
• Bending and creasing of the customer.
• Awakening the conscience of the designer with an aspen stake.
• Removing the responsibility of the technician with the medical certificate and entering the astral world.
• Mantras against negligence (mostly cheaper for the collective).
• Removal of all polygraphic curses.
• Materialization of circulation within the deadline.